I recently came across a blog post entitled “10 reasons why you should not visit Lebanon”. I have to say that the title caught my attention. I couldn’t believe that a Lebanese blogger has finally written an article that depicts negative aspects of the country and discourages tourists from coming to Lebanon. Hundreds of articles have been written about the country’s gems, the unparalleled nightlife experience, the people’s hospitality, the various touristic attractions and I was surprised to see that someone had the guts to publicly say that Lebanon… sucks. Forgive the brutality of the statement… but someone has to finally say it because while we consistently complain about how poor the living conditions are in Lebanon, we never admit to foreigners that the country isn't as attractive as we claim it to be...

As I skimmed through the article, I quickly realized that it was pure scam and all the mentioned reasons were all compelling and attractive to tourists and not the opposite.

Motivated by deception, I decided to really and honestly highlight the true reasons why one should not visit Lebanon…

1. Lebanese may be welcoming, but they're very talkative and can sometimes be intrusive. They'll inquire about your financials and your religion without being apologetic. They’ll ask you intimate details about your life: Are you married? Do you have children? Why not? Are you facing challenges to conceive? They can even give you recommendations for a reproductive endocrinologist.

2. The food is fantastic, that’s true. But food safety practices in Lebanon are not conform to international standards. While the food industry has long enjoyed a good reputation, recently dozens of restaurants have been closed for violating the food safety measures. Many food poisoning cases have been recorded and the Ministry of Health has launched a campaign against violators. Needless to say that Lebanese rose against the campaign and turned each of the Minister's statements into never ending sarcastic jokes... They even found a benefit for food poisoning: “it improves your immunity… never mind, enjoy the food man!”

3. The beaches: Yes, Lebanon is on the Mediterranean sea and has a long strip of beaches however, and unlike any other country, the majority of the beaches are private properties. So expect to pay a fortune to get access to one of the beach resorts. In addition, the water along the Lebanese coast is very polluted with numerous dumpsites located along the coast and a large portion of wastewater being disposed into the sea without any treatment. It isn’t a hot spring or a sulfur bath, you’ll be literally swimming in human shit. Our underwater treasures and sea life are limited to plastic bags and rubber boots. Nothing you’ve seen before at any scuba diving site!

4. Transportation: Traffic is bad…Not as bad as in Cairo for instance but it isn't an enjoyable experience either especially when you know that a trip that normally takes 20 minutes can end up taking 2 hours for no reason. Adding to that, public transportation is nonexistent in Lebanon, private taxis are pricy and the "service" (shared cab) remains your only option if you do not mind 1) frequent stopping and honking to attract, pick and drop off additional passengers anywhere on the streets; 2) arriving late to your destination because the service driver likes to use congested roads or decides to drop off a passenger whose destination doesn’t correspond to your initial itinerary; 3) being dropped off at a different location because the driver decides he no longer wants to take you to your destination because the area is too congested; 4) listening to the service driver complaining about the country and the economy  while praising his sect leader; 5) getting recommendations from the service driver about a fertility doctor.

5. The women/ men: Apparently, Lebanon is not only known for the extremely beautiful women but for its hot men too. I will refrain from commenting on the latter statement, but beware of the physical appearance because you will be deceived. Lebanese love foreigners and will quickly hook up with them… This is what I call hospitality. Sometimes these relationships develop into marriages. This is what I call opportunism… Because every Lebanese’s dream is to marry a foreigner as the simplest pathway to a foreign citizenship and immigration. 

Note: The term foreigner refers to citizens of the Schengen area and USA. Citizens of the Gulf are coveted for their money while other Arab nationals are treated with discriminatory racism.

6. The nature: For decades, Lebanon was renowned for its breathtaking nature: green hills and valleys, rivers and falls… The hills were turned into open-pits and quarries, valleys are covered with garbage, rivers are submerged by sewage and waste and falls have dried up… Green spaces have shrinked and the only remaining ones are probably the weed plantations of the Beqaa valley. But don’t get too excited; cannabis cultivation and possession is illegal in Lebanon and while you can still buy hash on the market, you’ll be breaking the law.

So… my friend, if you still insist on getting a taste of Lebanon no matter what, pack your bags and head to Amsterdam instead; the Red Lebanese hash is known to be one of the best and is widely available and legal… and I am sure there will be plenty of restaurants that sell hummus too…