It is over. I am not going to look back. It's not that I don't want to, but I am tired of your excuses. What we had, wasn't real. You promised me better days. You said you will change. You said, that if we both stick together, things will improve... that we can stay together... forever! I worked hard for it... I've put my heart into it... but your issues were endless and I couldn’t take it anymore. You were ungrateful. You took me for granted. You thought I will never leave. You thought I wasn't strong enough to pack my bags and go... but guess what?

I left!

Six months ago, I packed my bags, said my goodbyes and walked away. I can’t lie and say I didn’t cry. I sobbed, but I didn't look back... I was tired, upset, and I had lost any hope of a breakthrough...

Beirut, you disappointed me!

Your corrupt government and system, your crazy traffic, your unbearable pollution and garbage, your apathetic and fake people, your lack of opportunities and exorbitant price of living have been a daily nightmare...

I thought distance will give me some perspective and that with time, I will forget you. But I didn’t.

For six months, I thought of you every day. I stalked you… I wanted to know what you were up to and if you were doing okay. I couldn’t stop talking about you and about how amazing you are… And with every passing day, I missed you even more. I couldn’t wait to see you. I came back to visit with the hope that things have changed. They should have, I was sure. The pictures I saw of you were reassuring: you were vibrant and hopeful.

But, Beirut, you disappointed me, once again!

Your Government is more than ever controlled by external patrons who are no longer discrete about their interference. Your decisions about war and peace are made by an armed militia that lured your people into thinking that they only can protect the country. Your traffic got crazier and your drivers more reckless despite the new fines on traffic violations. These weren’t meant to improve traffic safety but to make your gold-digging politicians richer. Your people’s indifference towards issues that affect their lives has become alarming. The additional taxes on almost all commodities were strikingly received by a sigh of relief in appreciation of the Government’s additional tax exemption on contraceptives. Now they can continue to fuck the people safely! Your people live in a bubble of hypocrisy, greed and falseness and because misery loves company, they continue to splurge on parties and extravagance. The queues in front of the restaurants and bars have become as dangerously long as the lines for gasoline and bread in nearby war-ravaged countries…

Beirut, I believe in second chances. I just don’t believe that everyone deserves them.